Resistance, Ritual, and the (W)Riting life

Several months ago I wrote a POST about how I quit my “soul-sucking” job to live a more creative life. A life that was more in line with my passion and purpose.

The truth of the matter is, it’s a challenge to live life as an artist, writer, musician, etc and make a living from it. It’s not impossible; it’s just challenging on so many levels. Your spouse might not appreciate your lack of immediate income, you might not appreciate your lack of immediate income, your friends and family might resent you for not taking life seriously, and your mind will give you those 11,000 reasons why you can’t do it (I’m a talentless hack; I’m too old to change my life; No one will read anything I write; There’s no money in poetry/dance/filmmaking/etc). Thank your mind for sharing, pat it on its head, and scoot it along. You can make a living at it, or at least a good part of your living at it… it just takes time, energy, and commitment.

This summer I hit a financial low. I had very little income for several months. I found myself searching classifieds for anything that sounded not too nauseating to apply for. I was afraid. I had a crisis of faith in my own abilities. Then, I made a decision that if I were going to get a job, then it had to be 1) a contract job (i.e. temporary and project-based), 2) something related to my field (i.e. teaching, film making, etc), and 3) I have to enjoy it.

I set that intention and low and behold, the fabulous adventure that was Hit n Strum came into my life. Presto!

During my low of lows, however, I was saved by a support system of people who believe in me (a system I put in place for just such emergencies – SEE MY PREVIOUS POST) and by the RITUALS I created around my writing and taking care of my spiritual self. I cannot say HOW VITAL it is to be committed to these rituals, because you will have doubts, fears, and moments of wondering why you aren’t more passionate about accounting or nursing or some other NORMAL occupation.

If you create a ritual for your writing/spiritual life, and follow it with commitment EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT, you will notice astounding changes. You will notice your love made visible.

Here’s my ritual:

-Wake up as early as possible (a challenge b/c I tend to stay up late). My target time is 7:30 am.

-Put Snataam Kaur’s PREM on the CD player (I find playing the same CD every day helps me keep the ritual)

-Get a cup of coffee and write a minimum of one page in my journal (my journal is large, 8 1/2 x 11).

-Read a section of an inspirational book (so far I’ve gone through The Power of Now, Making a Literary Life, and Kundilini, The Evlotionary Energy in Man). For those starting out in a similar fashion, The Power of Now is an excellent resource.

-Just before the last song on the CD starts, I put everything down and then I meditate through the last song. It’s 11 minutes long. Anyone can meditate for 11 minutes. And that meditation sets the tone for what I am to do that day. Getting present, getting still, and quieting the mind is essential for me.

-Get dressed and take a short walk. I call this my “commute” to work. Of all the stages, this is the one I most often resist and most often skip. I have found myself working in my pajamas at 2 pm. But there’s something about my “commute” that seals the deal. I’m off to work! I’m taking this seriously!

-Write (or edit) for at least 2 hours. I can get a significant amount of work done in 2 hours and after 2 hours, my focus gets wonky.

This has absolutely worked for me. As much as I resist, as much as I call myself a fraud or slacker, this works. I started this in February and since that time I have written a feature screenplay and edited it 4 times, edited a draft of my novel, and written a “scriptment” of another feature screenplay I’m working on for a director friend of mine.

Today I’m writing this because I’m between projects, when I feel slightly bewildered as to how to approach the next thing.

After my writing/editing time I usually eat. I’m not a big early morning eater, but if you need to eat right away, add that to your ritual.

SO THEN WHAT?

THEN, very importantly, I have what I call WRITING BIZNIZ time. I must do at least one thing every day that furthers my “career” as a writer. I research the trades, apply for grants/festivals/contests, make queries, and SUBMIT my work. This part is important b/c I realized after a while that no producer/publisher is going to come knocking on my door going, “Hey, I heard your keyboard strokes, can I take a look at what you’re writing?”

Take time when you do your bizniz. Research the companies you submit to, check your cover letter for mistakes, make them personal, read all the rules and guidelines when submitting, etc.

If you really want it to be your life, you have to put yourself out there. If you just want to write for yourself and your friends, you can skip that part and enjoy the sunshine.

Carolyn See’s book Making a Literary Life contains her own similar advice. She says to write 1,000 words a day (or edit for 2 hours) five times a week for the rest of your life, AND hand write (and mail) one “charming note” (or gift) to an author/editor/etc you admire five times a week for the rest of your life.

Okay, I’ve got the writing part down… I totally RESIST writing charming notes and mailing them off. So far I’ve managed three of them in two weeks. One to my dear friend Sarah Nickerson who wrote a wonderful coming-of-age book called How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found, one to a poet friend of mine (Gabrielle Bouliane) in Austin who I haven’t seen in years, and I also sent a book of poetry to a producer I met over the summer.

I KNOW that every time I RESIST something, there’s something to look at there for me. My old self that poo-poos things I think are silly or useless or dumb or I just don’t wanna, but might actually be worthwhile because the person recommending them is someone I respect, needs to shut up for a while and listen.

So… creative types out there… what rituals have YOU created for yourselves? And, are you committed to them? Are they working for you?

P.S. btw, I am human. I do lapse. Things I do sometimes INSTEAD of participate in my ritual?  Check my e-mail, check Facebook, get distracted by a good novel, watch the previous night’s episode of So You Think You Can Dance, call a friend, heck, I’ve even started baking to keep from writing. Then I laugh, refocus, and keep going. And for the times I DO have a job to get to, I have a “mini ritual” to start the day so that I don’t get too far off track.

 

Hit n Strum Wraps… on to PitchMarket 2010!

Last week we wrapped on Hit n Strum… for the most part. There are still a few minor scenes that need picking up, but for the majority of our team, it’s time to move on. Other gigs are calling, our spouses and loved ones want to see us, and the volunteer members of the crew are down to their last boxes of cereal.

I have to say this was one of the best things I have ever done in my life and I can’t wait to see how it all comes together in the editing room. Half scripted, half spontaneous guerrilla shoot, and all magic.

Stunt Day Crew Photo

See the older couple on the far left? Those are the director’s parents. His Dad drove the cast and crew around. And his mom (in the sunglasses) made the crew breakfast every morning during the shoot. I’m gonna miss her.

Oh, and that’s their CAR… the one we used in our stunt. They were pretty good sports.

Reporter Glen Schaefer from the Vancouver Province was there on Stunt Day. CLICK HERE for the great article he wrote about our shoot. Very nice spread.

AND NOW…

In addition to getting back to editing my latest feature script, I’m the Program Director for PitchMarket 2010, a professional networking and pitching event happening here in Vancouver on March 6th and 7th. CHECK IT OUT! It’s going to be great. Register now, cuz the first 50 registrants get extra special bonuses you won’t want to miss.

 

More Behind-the-Scenes of Hit n Strum

The Vancouver Province featured a nice spread on Hit n Strum, which has just completed day 19 of 24 of principal photography.  Last week was a big week for us, because it was stunt week. The Province’s Glen Schaefer was there to observe, so click the link above if you’d like to read more about that. All I can say was that I was very proud of our team that day.

Much of our film has been guerrilla-style on the streets of Vancouver, primarily Gastown. One of our more glamorous locations has been the lovely Georgia Viaduct.

our core team gathers as cars rush in and out of the city

While location scouting, the director and DOP found a make-shift “condo” there and decided this would be the place our leading man would call home.

Our leading man, sick in a rainstorm. Art imitating life.

I’m the one who does all the scheduling… and we needed one day of rain to do our rainy day scenes. This is me feeling pretty smug about arranging that… if you schedule it, it will come… lol.

 

The Accidental Novelist becomes the Accidental Assistant Director

Oh where, oh where, has Danika been??

About a month ago I “accidentally” became the 1st A.D. on a low budget indie feature film.  If you know anything about feature film-making, then you know I have not had any life outside of the film since then. It means 14-16 (even a few 18 )hour days and that my “day off” is never really a day off.

Being a low-budget indie also means we have no 2nd, 3rd, or 4th AD’s… so I’m it in the AD department. It means being the contact person on and off set, creating the shooting schedule, call sheets, keeping everything moving on set, and being the director’s right hand woman.

I’m having the time of my life. I’m exhausted a lot of the time, but not stressed, because behind it all is the thrill of doing something that I absolutely love. It’s chaotic and magical at the same time. It’s also extremely collaborative due to the nature of the shoot. This is why I like indie filmmaking… it tends to be less hierarchical and people tend to take on multiple roles.

Our heroes: Stephanie (Michelle Harrison) and Mike (Kirk Caouette - also the writer-director)

This is the first time I’ve been this hands-on in the creation of a feature film. It’s better than any film-making program I could have attended.

I have never been any level of AD on a feature film. The reason I can do this job is because I have been on set in many capacities and I used to produce events for a living. During the events I was always the only person who knew what was going on in all departments, what was going on behind and in front of the scenes, and I acted as the point person for everyone.

The film is a little gem, too. A great crew, a great cast, a great story. There is a musical aspect to the film and the songs are quite lovely. A sort of Cat Stevens feel to them. I know the CD will be beautiful.

The guerrilla aspect to our filming creates a bond that one might not get on another set.

The film has a WEBSITE with PHOTO GALLERY and a blog if you’d like more info.

Pieter Stathis (DOP) and Me (AD)

 

Inside Story on the Inside Passage – Part Three

NOTE:  It is harder to blog on a cruise ship than I anticipated.  Internet Access is not only expensive, it’s spotty. This entry was written during my cruise, but I didn’t get a chance to post it until I got back.

~~~

Today we’re in Ketchikan, Alaska, our first stop on the journey. There are three cruise ships docked here, dwarfing the town. It’s a lovely spot, isolated and friendly. They obviously cater to cruise ships because there’s no shortage of art, clothing, jewellery, and tourist attracting goodies.

I asked a local how she felt about it and she said she liked that it brought more people into town. The only way anyone can get here is by boat or plane, the mountains and glaciers are impassable, so I can see how for many months out of the year, it could feel a bit lonely.

The only thing she doesn’t like, she said, was when tourists from the U.S. ask her if they take American dollars there.  Doh!  Sadly, she explained, it happens more often than you might think. Yes, Alaska IS part of the U.S. folks.

Yesterday afternoon we started some of the real workshop work. Dara has a PhD in mythology and uses myths to get to the heart of the Feminine Heroic. According to Dara, and I wholeheartedly agree, one of the reasons we have become so dissatisfied with contemporary films is that they have become unbalanced, over-stressing the Masculine Heroic – the external journey.

The masculine heroic journey is about the ascension to greatness, the individual staking claim, standing up to power structures, etc. The Feminine Heroic is about the internal transformational journey, going deeper into the place we call “soul.” And just as our own abductions into the underworld are essential for personal growth (i.e. our “dark years” – points of grief, sadness, depression), so these abductions are vital in creating authentic characters and stories that stay with us.

Dara’s lecture was supplemented by Deb’s writing exercises. Deb uses a combination of exercises to recall personal stories and physical sensations (i.e. where on our bodies do we feel our memories). As you can imagine, sharing these stories was quite emotional for several of us. Did I mention that we each got a pack of klenex at the start of class? I think everyone had theirs open by the end of the day.

 

Inside Story on the Inside Passage – Part Two

I’ve never been on a cruise before. If I had been given a choice of vacations, it’s not the one I would have picked. And ironically, this was the year I was going to go to Burning Man. A cruise to Alaska is about as far away from that as I could get. Dara Marks thought it was funny, Burning Man vs. The Feminine Heroic (the name of her workshop on the cruise).

To tell you the truth, I find all this to be a bit surreal. Right now I’m sitting in the deck chair of a moving city, levitating above the ocean, staring out as the Canadian coast rolls by. When I’m in the belly of the ship, I feel like I’m inside an enormous hotel and easily forget we’re moving. I mean, there’s a casino, a library, a huge theatre, cinema, and miles of long halls that remind me of The Shining.

I’m in an inside cabin; not the original plan. The group did some trading around of rooms yesterday and I just said put me anywhere, I’m easy. If I ever in my lifetime take another cruise, I will not book an inside cabin. I realize some people get sick watching the world move by, but I get claustrophobic in a windowless room. So, a note of caution if you ever book a cruise and you’re at all uneasy in small spaces.

In any case, it was so dark and disorienting when I woke up this morning that when I hit deck 10 and saw the coastline, I started to cry. Okay, I tend to cry at the drop of a hat these days being pre-menopausal and all, but it was just so stunning. So much wild, untouched land. I was reminded, once again, that I’m part of something much larger than myself.

We all met up for the first time last night. Fourteen women workshop attendees and our fearless leaders: Dara Marks and Deb Norton. As we each introduced ourselves, Dara handed us a present: a workshop binder, journal, pens, crayons, coloured markers, and chocolate – all inside a beautifully decorated gift bag. We’re loving it already.

Most of us are over 40, but we’re not all writers. We have a few brave visual artists along for the ride. And even as writers, we have differing backgrounds. Dara’s background is in story development for screenplays and Deb is a playwright and theatre actor. The title of the course is Engaging the Feminine Heroic and the idea is not to negate the masculine side of story-telling, but to understand the differences and how to use them together for a fuller, deeper, richer story.

More on that later… right not it’s time to do my homework.

 

The Inside Story from the Inside Passage

It’s almost 11 pm and I still haven’t finished packing. I’ll be out the door at 6:45 AM to drive down to Seattle to catch the Celebrity Infinity cruise to Alaska.

photo of Alaska's Inside Passage from shipshoretravel.org

I’ve never taken a cruise before, and frankly I’d never wanted to until I found out about Dara Mark’s class Engaging the Feminine Heroic, which takes place on the ship. It’s billed as a “7-Day Women Writers’ Retreat at Sea” and it’s going to be a blast.

Dara Marks is the author of The Inside Story: the Power of the Transformational Arc. I highly recommend it for those who’d like to develop authentic, character-driven stories.

A dozen women, mostly over 40, hanging out for a week at sea and taking a class with Dara Marks. How cool is that.

I will be posting every day along the trip about the cruise and the class.

 

Training for the CyberSpace Open: A script per day!

When I started my 10 day screenwriting challenge the other day, little did I realize how this might get me in shape for one of the most interesting screenwriting contests I’ve seen:  Screenwriting Expo’s CyberSpace Open.

The contest is set up in round-robin (elimination) style. Each round the participants must write a five page short script around a specific premise. You can write from anywhere. To win you need to survive 3 rounds, each with a tighter deadline than the last.

In the final round, the top 10 writers have only 90 minutes to write a 5-page script. Whew!

I’ve been writing a short script per day for the past 7 days. I missed one day, so I only have 6 scripts. I was hoping to write 2 today, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

I may actually keep doing it for 2 weeks. We’ll see if I run out of steam.

I will post my favourite script of the 10 (or 14) right on this site.

 

August 14, 2009 – 3:15 (Vancouver, BC)

At some point in the month, I always start falling back to sleep before writing anything… then waking up and writing at whatever time it happens to be. This happens to everyone. Just keep writing if it does.

This one was more like a 5:15 poem.

Alas     sleep has kidnapped
my night     at least
I’m well fed
you have great waking skills
tumbling     waiting for
alarm     the sound of
shapes calling
shapes breaking morning
to father the day

 

3:15 AM – August 8, 2009

I decided to share this 3:15 Experiment poem not because its one of my favourites or for its fine literary quality, but because it is such 3:15 language… that and I don’t remember writing it!

I remember writing, I recall my hand moving by some force, but I don’t recall any of these words (and some I’ve had to interpret as they were illegible), where they came from, or to what they were referring – other than the fact that my husband went bike-camping on Mayne Island and saw views of islands.

This is something that continually fascinates me about the experiment, that I could actually physically write, but not be conscious while doing it.

August, 8, 2009
Vancouver, BC

I have frozen in this
finite heat.  the islands,
the islands have mass and must wait.
temptation.  the islands have both the
call and response.  we were there.
come.

Witnesses may always refuse -
then we’re stuck hungrily
hiring the land.

I started on land & ended on air
I swallowed the clues
ingested     as my own DNA

The island lines up
my timing near-perfect

Bring her in.  Bring them
all in.
time for a game
a test of time.

milquetoast

The pieces are mulled over
the den gone.  Civilized votes any
confidence
a circular witness : a time beast

The water comes.  The room is
occupied.  We have the presence
of salt to slow them down.

And eyes on the backs
of our heads.

My favourite thing about it is the random word “milquetoast” that appears in the middle of the poem. In my journal I had started a new page and written that at the top, then drew a line underneath it.

You can still JOIN in the madness… there are 20 days left to participate in the 3:15 Experiment.

The 2nd Official 3:15 Experiment Anthology

HOW TO DO THE 3:15 EXPERIMENT:

* Begin at 3:15 AM on August 1st (so set your alarms on JULY 31) . Continue each day until August 31.
* You may write any length, style, form, content, voice, rhythm, etc.
* DO NOT EDIT your work. This is raw stuff, baby. That’s part of the experiment. You are welcome to edit, collage, break apart the poems later for whatever purpose you choose, but please SHARE THE RAW STUFF with the rest of the group here or on the website once the experiment is over.
* (Optional) Do not read what you have written until the month is over, except to skim the work to make sure everything is legible.

TIPS: Do not use a felt tip pen unless you don’t care about ink stains on your bed. Many a poet has fallen asleep in the middle of writing. If you can help it, don’t even get out of bed! The point is to ride that dream state, that precarious point between sleeping and waking and sleeping.

(This is the first year I have broken the “optional” rule and shared poems during the month. )